Michelle has been a true mentor to me. One of her greatest gifts is her parent talks. She uses her wide knowledge of child development to guide us through our understanding of why kids act as they do. Most importantly, she teaches us about mindfulness during parenting as the key to maintaining some sense of peace and calm when we and our children need it most. I've especially appreciated the times she has led us through a guided meditation to help us practice. Michelle is a true gem, and I'm grateful for her wisdom and the insights she graciously shares with all of us.

-J.T. Parent of three

What Michelle taught me about parenting is that to be a good parent means to be a good individual. My parenting was so overly child-focused. I always worried about my child’s behavior, and how to guide them to do the best thing. But now I’ve learned that the focus needs to be on how I can do the best thing. How I relate to their feelings and react or respond to their behaviors. I could get quite anxious and angry from my own worry. These questions now guide me in my interactions.

The trick to this philosophy is that it is honest and hard work. To maintain a sense of safety in myself, to regulate MY feelings, to be clear on my own boundaries. When I relate to my children now, I focus my attention on being a container. I receive and validate when difficulties arise. Later I offer my reflection and guidance. But in the moment, on the battleground of dysregulated moments with my children; I remember to breathe and summon up love. I practice this every day. I started out in coaching by saying that I default to ‘ditch parenting,’ meaning I always worry that everything that goes wrong will eventually snowball into my child laying in a ditch one day. Basically, catastrophizing.

However, I realize that my worry will never prevent or control anything. My presence and stability is the only thing that has the slightest chance of preventing catastrophe later on. Having a healthier relationship with my children gives me the hope that they will continue to trust me and lean on me into their teen years. The best result of this is the experience and realization that parenting does not have to be so terrifying, and connecting to my children is the greatest joy I’ll ever know. 

Thank you, Michelle, from the light in my heart.

-Mother of 4, Hudson Valley